Embrace Page 20

  Chapter 19

  Death

  IN THE DARK, THERE is only more darkness. It’s like swimming in a pool of oil. Not exactly what I’d thought the journey to heaven would look like. I’d pictured it as more scenic. Those I passed seemed distressed. I would have told them not to worry, that everyone says heaven is a wonderful place, if only I could talk.

  “You’re not doing it right!” someone yelled. I couldn’t see where the voice came from.

  “It’s not like healing a bone! Just blow!” another person shot back.

  Air rushed past me. I could almost taste it: warm and oddly like the rind of an orange. Was heaven one big orchard complete with delicate blossoms, or was that just the part of heaven where I was headed? I wasn’t that big of an orange juice drinker. Maybe I could transfer to somewhere with fields and fields of coffee beans.

  That would be truly heavenly.

  “Please no. Please no, Please no.” The chant was soft. The voice quiet and familiar. I didn’t know why it was so sad.

  I was shoved forward through the blackness. It hit me I might not be in heaven.

  It was my fault I’d gone down instead of up. I had copied Kaylee’s homework one too many times to be on the “good” list. That had to be why I wasn’t in the bright lights of paradise. I’d never pass the golden gates. But would cheating on a couple assignments really earn me a one-way ticket to hell? My skin didn’t feel like it was on fire. Maybe I was in purgatory. Maybe there was still hope for me.

  Someone else called from the distance. “I’m not sure if I’m doing this right.”

  “I’m a little busy,” was the rebuttal. This voice was near to me, strained.

  “How is she?” the distant voice asked.

  I still couldn’t see anything. Air rushed at me again. My mouth must have been opened. I should close it.

  “Damn it, breathe!” demanded the nearby voice.

  I knew this voice. It belonged to the person who made me whole. The person who had embraced the dark to defend me. Oh God, he’d died too.

  “Let me do that,” that first voice said.

  “You’ve never healed. Just blow!” snapped the nearby voice.

  This time when the air filled my mouth, I coughed it back out. Through my narrowed eyes, I saw Isaac and Kevin leaning over me.

  Kaylee came into view, her face stained with tears.

  Apparently, seeing Isaac and Kevin alive was enough for my conscience, because I passed out again. I woke sometime later in my bedroom. Kaylee was lying on the bed next to me, asleep, my hand in hers.

  I offered a little squeeze, which ended up being a slight wiggle of my fingers. My body felt rubbery. Kaylee opened her eyes and looked at me expectantly.

  “Hi.” I tried a smile, not sure if my lips had the strength to pull upward.

  “Hi.” Relief consumed the one word. Kaylee brushed hair away from my face. “Thank God, you’re okay.”

  “What happened?”

  I remembered facing Emma, pushing my powers out and sending her crashing into the chalkboard. I remembered Isaac and Kevin about to duel until only one was left standing. I remembered both of their lovely faces looking down at me afterward, before things had gone black.

  “You tried to break up the fight between Isaac and Kevin,” Kaylee replied.

  Oh yeah, I had done that. I grimaced at the memory of that much power flowing into me.

  “They feel awful,” Kaylee went on. “Both of them were here. Your dad shooed them out last night.”

  “My dad?” I tried to sit up. I made it to my elbows before I collapsed back onto the bed. “I’m surprised he didn’t rush me to the hospital.”

  Kaylee sat up and faced me. “He would have. One look at you passed out in Isaac’s arms and he ran for his keys. Isaac had to quickly pass you to Kevin, which he didn’t look happy about. He rested a hand on your dad’s shoulder, mumbled something, and then told your dad you were just tired. You needed sleep.”

  “I was afraid they were going to fight until someone was dead.” My words came out in a whisper.

  Kaylee squeezed my hand. “They would have, if you hadn’t gotten in the way.”

  “Then I’m glad I did.”

  I had so many questions, but my eyes betrayed me and closed.

  It was Kaylee tracing circles on my arm that woke me the next time. Light filtered into my bedroom window.

  “What time is it?” I asked.

  Kaylee looked toward the dresser where my alarm clock was. “Almost eight. Isaac should be here soon. I thought you might want to freshen up.”

  My mouth tasted as if I’d been sucking on steel and cotton at the same time. I pushed myself up, glad my muscles weren’t as lethargic as they’d been in the middle of the night. “Be right back.”

  My trip to the bathroom brought a slew of questions to mind. I quickly brushed my teeth, splashed water on my face, and raced a brush through my hair.

  Kaylee was sitting cross-legged on the bed when I got back to my room.

  I grabbed my pillow and placed it in my lap as I sat down. “Where’d you go yesterday? When you didn’t come back from the bathroom, I looked everywhere for you. What happened?”

  “Emma.” Kaylee frowned. “She cornered me when I was leaving the girls’ bathroom. One minute I was telling her to get lost and walking away, and the next I was locked in the janitor’s closet with my arms tied behind my back and tape over my mouth. Josh thinks she tried to bewitch me, but her spell wouldn’t have worked because I’m wearing his necklace.” Kaylee rubbed the back of her head. “I think she clobbered me with the fire extinguisher. It left a lump.”

  I was overwhelmed with relief that Emma hadn’t wanted Kaylee dead.

  “It was awful,” Kaylee added. “I couldn’t call for help. I just kept repeating Josh’s and your name in my head.”

  That explained why Josh hadn’t come to the classroom with Isaac. He would have gone to find Kaylee.

  “Emma had a spell on the door,” Kaylee continued. “Josh couldn’t unlock it and was afraid if he blasted it open with his powers he’d hurt me. He ended up finding something he could use to pry it open.”

  “That’s going to cause another investigation at school.” Damage to school property wasn’t taken lightly.

  Kaylee shook her head. “He fixed it before we went to find you and Isaac.”

  I nodded. “I know why Emma hates me. She said she wanted me out of the way—that I interfered with her and Paige’s happiness. Her reasoning was warped and frighteningly unsound, but it was there. Why did she hate you?”

  Kaylee’s nose crinkled. She grabbed the metal cross around her neck. “I was getting in her way when it came to getting back at you. She really hates you.”

  I gave her a look that said, You think?

  She continued. “She might have done worse to me if she knew to take the necklace off.”

  There was a knock on the door. I told whomever it was to come in.

  “Hi.” Kevin’s blue eyes met mine. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked from me to Kaylee.

  “Well.” Kaylee stood. “I need a toothbrush and a shower.” She leaned down to kiss the top of my head. “Call me later.”

  Kaylee rubbed Kevin’s arm on the way out of my bedroom. Kevin took a few steps closer.

  “I’m really sorry about yesterday.” He groaned as he rolled his eyes. “That’s so lame. Sorry I nearly choked you to death. I don’t know what happened. I saw Isaac helping you to your feet. A few months ago that would have been me. Then you were so relieved to see him. I could feel it.”

  I cringed, knowing how much that must have stung him.

  “I couldn’t think straight after that.” Kevin forced a smile. “Funny part is, I’m such a hypocrite.”

  “What?”

  Kevin moved closer, taking a seat on the end of my bed. “I’ve been seeing someone too.” Kevin diverted his eyes, suddenly finding the lint on my comforter fascinating. “I feel like an ass, having s
uch a strong reaction to you dating. I wasn’t going to tell you about Megan either. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

  I was actually happy for him, knowing he had someone at home, and relieved to hear our friendship meant as much to him as it did to me.

  “It’s just that I came back to Gloucester because I wanted to tell you about my powers. You should have seen the begging I had to do to get my parents to let me miss school, but I was going to burst if I didn’t tell someone. I wanted to see your expression and to know if you’ve heard of anything like this. When I saw you with Isaac, though, something inside of me snapped.” Kevin looked back up at me. “I was mad at myself, not you. Then I spoke to Josh. Not only did he know about the powers, he had them. And the things he knew…” Kevin let out a low whistle. “We spent most of the night talking about them. That and what had happened to Kaylee. As he told the story, I could feel his grief and worry, then his relief and anger.”

  I nodded. The image of Kaylee strapped to the hospital bed, afraid of demons, is something I would never forget. “You should have seen her, scared to move. We got to her just in time.”

  A comfortable silence followed as Kevin and I got lost in our thoughts.

  After a moment, Kevin offered a half smile. “Do you think we’re all drawn to each other?”

  That was a very big possibility. Josh and I had always been friends; even before he’d started dating Kaylee, we used to hang out. I’d looked up to him as a sister would a brother for as long as I could remember. Then there was how Kevin and I had clicked, knew exactly what the other was feeling without words. And obviously Isaac had pulled me to him. He’d had my attention the first time I’d seen him.

  “I do,” Kevin said before I could reply. “I think that’s why Josh and I are the best of friends. Why you and I fit so well together. After what I did at school, I’ll understand if you want me to leave and never call you again.”

  “Don’t be stupid.” The words were out of my mouth before I had time to arrange my thoughts into something nice. I hit him playfully with the pillow I’d been squeezing. “Of course I want to be friends. Best friends.”

  He snatched my weapon from me. “Kaylee’s your best friend.”

  “I can have two,” I said defiantly. It occurred to me that Kevin wouldn’t have support back in Minneapolis. Not the kind he needed. “Can you stay another week? Josh and I can help you learn to use your powers.”

  “I don’t want them,” he said, his voice flat and final.

  “But you’ve already embraced them.” Isaac had been clear about that point. He hadn’t told me about my powers because once I knew, I’d have little choice but to embrace them. “You can’t go back.” Another point Isaac had made very clear. Time travels in one direction; you can’t go back in time and erase the things you don’t want to happen.

  Kevin’s expression was solemn and pained. “Madison, you don’t understand, I can’t control them.”

  “You could if you had some training.” I refrained from telling him Isaac had taught me to control mine and planned on providing additional training once things with Mark—well, Emma—settled down.

  Kevin shook his head. “You have no idea how unbelievably incredible it feels to have that much power coursing through you. To know with a little more anger, a little more jealousy, it could get that much better. I’ve never been seduced by something so strong. Once that feeling starts, I don’t want it to stop. I couldn’t stop myself even when I saw what I was doing to you. I would have killed you if Isaac wasn’t there.” He gave a fleeting smile. “I guess I owe him.”

  He didn’t look at all happy to owe Isaac anything.

  “I don’t want these powers,” he repeated. “They scare the shit out of me. I’m afraid of what I might do. Next time, there won’t be anyone there to stop me.”

  Kevin’s pain rolled off of him to me. I ached with him. “Do you mean it? You don’t want them?”

  He nodded.

  “Then promise me you won’t use them until you’re ready and properly trained.”

  Kevin snorted. “Like I’ll be able to keep that promise.” Yet something in my expression made him sit a little straighter. “I’m sorry Madison, but when it happens, I don’t have any rational thoughts. I’m not going to stop to say, ‘Hey, I promised Madison I wouldn’t use my powers.’ I couldn’t even stop myself from trying to kill you.”

  That was definitely something he was going to keep throwing out there. “I knew you weren’t doing it on purpose.”

  The look in Kevin’s eyes made me recoil. “That doesn’t make what I did any better.”

  Josh must not have told him. “Kevin, knowing about your powers, using them, means that you have embraced them, whether you want them or not. That makes your promise binding.”

  I told Kevin what had happened when I’d promised not to use my powers until I was shown how. I told him about the sting that had followed when I’d almost broken that promise, and how my spell had fizzled and failed.

  “If you mean it,” I said, “if you don’t want the burden of these powers, then promise me you won’t use them until you’re ready and properly trained, or unless your life depends on it.” After what I had just been through, I felt he had to have a get-out-of-your-promise-free clause. “If you change your mind, if you feel you are ready to embrace them again, then you have Josh and me to help you. You have my promise on that.”

  Silence blanketed the room as Kevin considered what I was saying. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “I promise.”

  When he stood to leave, it was as if a part of me was leaving with him. “Do you have to go?”

  “Yeah, my flight’s in a couple of hours. I really should have been on my way to the airport, but I promised you I wouldn’t leave until we talked.” Kevin raised a hand in a half-wave. He made it to the door before he turned to face me one last time. “I kept that promise because I wanted to. Not because I felt compelled to. I’ll call you when I get home.”

  I lay back down and closed my eyes when I heard Kevin’s car door slam shut.

  “That was a brave thing you did.”

  I opened one eye to find Isaac leaning on the doorframe. He looked exceptionally sexy standing there. His hair, which was usually spiked, was tousled as if he’d run a towel over it after his morning shower and nothing more. He wore a loose-fitted, long-sleeved shirt and black jeans.

  “You heard?” I asked.

  “Sorry,” he said, obviously feigning remorse. “I couldn’t help myself.”

  The spell Isaac had cast over my father must have been a strong one. So far he’d let two boys upstairs before I was dressed. Part of me wanted to be mad at Isaac for eavesdropping on my conversation with Kevin, but another part of me knew I would have done the same thing if Isaac were in his bedroom with an ex-girlfriend.

  “Do you think he’ll be okay?” I asked.

  Isaac came and sat down on the bed next to me. “Yeah. He’ll be fine.”

  I wasn’t so sure discussing Kevin with Isaac was the best idea. I knew what I’d seen coming from them when we’d been connected. If their emotions had flowed into me along with their powers, my emotions would have flowed into them. I loved them both. Not something easily explained to the guy you’re hoping to get to know better.

  I changed the subject instead.

  “How did Emma become so strong?”

  “She made a deal for a taste of power. My guess is she made it with a demon, so her problems have just begun. Whatever she was given, it wasn’t enough. She wanted more. Like Kevin said, dark magic is seductive. Emma went looking for more, and she found it in the lady who used to own my house.”

  “Mrs. Lawson?”

  “It makes sense, doesn’t it, that power ran through the veins of the family who built the house. Just look at my room.”

  Like Isaac had said, he couldn’t have designed his room better if he’d tried. “It’s the perfect place to practice magic,” I said.

  Isaac nodde
d. “My parents were sold on the house as soon as they saw it. Mrs. Lawson’s magic was good; we could feel that much. Her health declined quickly, didn’t it?”

  “Yeah.” I remember my dad being surprised at how quickly her mind had gone.

  “That happens when your powers are slowly siphoned from you.”

  I cocked my head to the side. “People can siphon powers from each other?”

  And here I thought having powers would make a person close to invincible.

  “It’s not a good thing, but I’ll get to that. After Josh robbed Emma of the powers she had—”

  “He what?” I blurted. “Isn’t that bad? I mean, Emma was bad, why would he want her powers?”

  Isaac held up a hand as if to say, Calm down. “He did a spell that takes what isn’t rightfully hers. Her powers didn’t flow into him, though. The spell isn’t like the one she used on Mrs. Lawson. Once I knew you were okay and Emma could no longer cast any spells, I asked her a few questions.”

  “And she answered them?” You can bet your last dollar that if someone had asked me about something I shouldn’t have been doing, I would have lied my ass off.

  “I used a little persuasion.”

  “Oh.” I wished I could have seen Emma’s expression when she’d woken up to find that her powers were gone and someone had put her under a spell. I bet it wiped the smug smile she’d had the last time I’d seen her right off her face.

  “Emma realized she was killing Mrs. Lawson, she saw how her health was deteriorating, but she didn’t care. Each time she took a little more of Mrs. Lawson’s powers, the stronger she felt. The final phase of the spell required a sacrifice. Remember the rabbit we found the night we met?”

  “The dead one?” I asked, but it really wasn’t a question. I’ll never forget the sight of that poor animal lying in a pool of its own blood.

  “Yeah, Emma went just about as dark as you can go. Not only did she make the deal, she stole powers from another witch, killed, and cast with the intent to harm others.”

  One of the articles I had read when I’d first suspected Kaylee might have been cursed talked about the responsibility that came with the gift of magic. It talked about how a witch’s actions were what made her good or evil. At the time, it had seemed more like common sense than anything else. The whole Do unto others as you’d have done unto yourself thing. I hadn’t stopped to consider just how ruthless people can be.